Revision for Style

Here is a excerpted sample of an academic essay as it was originally written:

Original Sample

Here it is after revising it to highlight what Williams calls "characters" and "actions."

Revised Sample

Here is a reflection that contextualizes the changes made:

Reflection on Revision

Writing a Style Narrative

A couple things to keep in mind as you write your narrative:

1. Don't stress about the length, think instead about telling your story in an interesting and enjoyable way. I would recommend just sitting down and typing it out all at once--then think about format, length, stylistics. I also find I write more, and more easily, when I use single-space.
2. Remember that the goal of this assignment is to tell a story. This can be fictional or personal. All stories have a point--Goldilocks "teaches" us that trepassing is bad. It also teaches us that we have things in common with those who seem so different than us. "The Monkey's Paw" tells us that all actions have consequences (and magic is bad/creepy). Fight Club is a commentary on masculinity. Your point should be about language and "correctness." But, your narrative should also have story elements: a progression (possibly through plot points), characters, and a sense of beginning and end.
3. Details and "Scene painting" are common elements in narratives. Use description with abandon.
4. Dialogue can be a powerful way to engage your reader and propel them through your story.

Here is the sample I read in class. I like it because it has a clear voice and is thinking about language as it plays with it. It is perhaps less story driven, but it does use elements of narration.

Here is the sample I wrote.

Here is a link to a college writing site that describes narrative writing pretty well.

My Not-Quite Starbucks Post

On Saturday morning I woke up at the very early hour of 5am. Not sure why, since I didn't go to bed until 1am. So, in order to not be that person who wakes everyone else up simply because I am up, I quietly left the hotel room and went downstairs in need of coffee. Starbucks was closed, the hotel restaurant was closed, there was no caffeine to be found. So, I left. Now, keep in mind that I am in New Orleans, a place with numerous bars that are simply rows of slushy machine full of frothy alcoholic fun, an exotic dance club on every block, and no open container laws. So, as I walk out the door, I see two gentlemen outside smoking. But instead of steaming coffee in their hands, there are beer bottles. In fact, everyone I saw that morning was clearly still up from the previous night and working very hard to keep going in spite of their loss of motor control and vision. I ducked into the 24 diner/bar, fully expecting a 3am Waffle House experience: most people clutching desperately to some water or coffee and asking, "Can I just have some dry toast?" Not the case.

I have arrived in what seems to be a dispute over who paid for what and when and who should have and why between two local women (sisters) and four over-grown frat boys. The one sister, who classified herself as a dancer and "used to be a working girl," is under the impression that these guys have disrespected her sister, which very well may have happened. There was much shouting, much profanity, and lots of drama. In between outbursts, the two groups seemed to temporarily come to an agreement and would celebrate by communal shots of tequila. Then they would start screaming again.

Once the one poor sorta-sober guy drags his buddies away, the sisters begin to recount the wrongs down onto them, mock the stupidity of the guys, and dish with the bartender/waitress. When an old bum comes up to the doorway, careful to stay on the sidewalk, all ideas turn to him. He is, as one might expect, in clothes too large, shaking a bit, and generally looking like life has beat him down. He is holding out a little vase with a pink flower (the kind you might find on a table of an inexpensive restaurant that is trying to add charm to their establishment). As soon as the bartender and the dancer sister spot him they laugh and alert the other sister. She has had her back to the door and is dancing in what probably seems to her (considering her current stsate of inebriation) a provocative way. They eventually get her to turn around, ast which point, she spots the bum, walks through the doorway, and slams him to the door. The vase goes flying, smashes to bits on the streets. The man just stays where he falls, lifting his head to peer back at us in the restaurant, picks up his flower, and after about minutes, get up and totters away. I wanted to feel sympathy for the man, or the bartender,or even maybe the sisters, but with the context, the background information lost to me, I simply contempled the different scenarios.

The morning was no "Venti Vanilla Half Calf, Skinny, Carmel Machiatto, extra hot," But it was a crazy scene.

Trying Something

here is me trying to link to a document saved from Bb Content System.

My Starbucks Post

So, even though all of you got to meet and talk to other people, it turns out that at 7am in the hotel's Starbucks, people don't really want to talk, smile, even make eye contact with others. They only want caffeine. So I didn't talk to anyone except the mildly disinterested barista who took my order. I did however, sit down and enjoy what Starbucks calls "Perfect Oatmeal." It is not exactly perfect, but it is good, and at $2.95 certainly beats the hotel restaurant's $8 oatmeal on principle. Who knew Starbucks would ever be the cheap option?

So, as I enjoyed my breakfast and not-great, but consistent mocha, I thought I might try to get some work done. Ideally, I should be working on my presentation on Friday that currently exists only in my mind, and even there, only vaguely. I don't actually remember what work I did do, but while doing it my pen exploded and I now sport purple ink stains that perfectly match my hair. I am always accessorizing.

It does appear that while Starbucks in the morning may not be ideal for meeting and talking, the lobby lounge/bar that I currently am enjoying is bustling with folks ready to talk...and drink...and talk so more. On that note, I leave you until tomorrow.

If you are having technological problems...

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Do your best, email me any work that you are unable to post or link, and we'll go over it all when I am back in town. Have a good week!

Reflective Writing

I want to start this post with some of the reasons for reflective writing.

“First, reflection provides the reader of your e-portfolio with a much better understanding of who you are because you share how you feel about or make sense of the experiences you have been involved in. Reflection allows you to analyze and interpret your artifacts for others.

Second, the reflective process itself, whether you share your e-portfolio with someone else or not, is a constructive way to think about your own growth and development. Reflecting allows you to explore alternatives and consider future plans.”

---PennState’s website: http://portfolio.psu.edu/reflect

Some things to consider as you write your own reflections:

For quality reflective writing, you must do more than simply describe your writing experience or the assignment’s end product (in this case, your syllabus for an imaginary course). Reflective writing requires you to contextualize your experience and the end product.

You should explain the choices you made in creating this text:what influenced your decisions, what effect did you want to create through this product, why you wrote it the way you did. Essentially you should critically analyze your own writing, using specific references or quotes from your assignment to support your analysis. While reflective writing doesn’t require you to evaluate (literally, to place a value on) your own writing or experience, you do need to think about what worked well, and what didn’t. As I read your reflection, I will be looking for you to show an awareness of your own rhetoric. Show me that your writing was purposeful.

But I am not the only audience for your reflective writing; you are as well. By thinking about your work, its objectives, and the skills and considerations that went into composing that work, you can expand that experience into other areas of your life. Your reflection, therefore, should attempt to think beyond the assignment itself to how it connects to other areas of your life and to future applications.

Some Other Thoughts on Reflection

Working with Google Docs

Okay, so I have been playing around and I definitely think using google docs is the way to go for linking work to your blog. UCFileSpace will require you to create a webpage that you can upload documents to and then link us to that webpage. It's more work for you as an author and more work for anyone who wants to read your documents.

How to use Google Docs:

First sign into your Google account. Since you all have a blog through Blogger, you all have a Google account--just use the same email and password. If you are not automatically taken to your account page, click the "My Account" link located in the upper right corner. On the My Account page, click "Docs" (this will probably be down the page under the heading "Try Something New"). From the main page you can create new documents, sort your files, and upload files from your computer or flashdrive.

How to upload documents:
Click Upload. Click Browse. Find your file and click Open. Click Upload File. The document should appear in the main window.

How to link documents to your blog:

1) First you must make the document public:

• Option A: If document is in the main window, use the drop down menu for "Share" (in the upper right), Click "Publish as Webpage."
• Option B: If you are on the main Google Docs page, select which document you want to link. On the top toolbar, use the drop down menu for "More Options." Click Publish.

On the next screen, click the first option, which is "Publish document." If you click "Post to Blog, then the document will be formatted as a post to the blog, not as a linked document.

Once the document has been published, you should take note of the URL and copy it. (I make a list in a Word file of all my documents' URLs so have them for quick reference. You can, however, always find a document's URL through Google Docs after you have published it.)

2) Now you can create a link on your blog:
As you write or edit a post, you will see a word processing toolbar on the top of the main window. Type the name of the assignment (example: Molly's List of Assignments) and select that text. Click on the "Link" button--it looks like the Earth with a single chain link in front of it. Paste the document's URL in the box and click "OK." The link will be active as soon as you publish your post.